My first week back in Korea has been quite uneventful. It's not surprising, because jet lag does take a while to get over. It was definitely nice seeing my parents again, talking to them, laughing with them...but seeing them was also a slap in the face into reality for me. My absence from their lives for 5 months didn't stop them from giving me lectures on what I should and shouldn't do. For example, my mom has already sort of gotten mad at me once or twice this week: "Hurry up and find a part-time job!" "The fact that you get stressed over something as stupid as an idol group stresses me." "I hope you know that you can't be reading manga all the time." etc. It's only been my first week into summer break and I feel like I've already done a lot of reflecting on who I am and who I should try to be in the future.
So as of now, I've mentally set a few goals for me. I know I should aim to fix other flaws I have, but as of now, these two goals are the only things I can draw out of my dumbass brain. The first one being: reduce my level of obsession over kpop groups, especially Infinite. As much as it was enjoyable for me to keep up with everything related to Infinite, I feel like I really should try to keep them out of my life. I didn't realize to what extent my parents were judging me for my obsession over them when I was in the US because it's hard to tell over Kakaotalk, but now that I'm back in Korea and with my parents now, I can totally tell. Some people might not care whether their parents judge them for their kpop obsession or not, but one thing I really dislike is being judged by my own parents. And my mom's rather eyeopening statement earlier regarding this topic made me realize how much of a pathetic person I was. So...yeah...although I'm not sure whether it's because there's much more entertaining stuff other than going on Tumblr to fangirl over random gifs of Infinite, my interest in Infinite has reduced by a lot. Even though I couldn't get tickets to Infinite's concert in August, and even though there are people who are selling their tickets because they can't go, I really can't get myself to care about going anymore. I used to look through all the fantaken pics of Infinite on my feed on Twitter, but now I can't get myself to care about those either. I'm not even sure whether I should even go to Beast's concert in July either (my seat isn't exactly the best either...so..yea). This obsession might come back to haunt me once I'm back in the US, but this time around, I'm really going to try to stay away from them, and try to be more active in other areas - such as maybe finding a club to actively participate in? And who knows, maybe I might not even try to attend Infinite's concert in LA when November comes around.
I've already insinuated what my second goal was in the last few sentences of the previous paragraph, but I'll just summarize it in one clean statement: find something to be passionate about, for example, find a club in college to actively participate in. The fact that my first year in college flew by just like that sort of makes me mad at myself for spending most of it indoors either surfing on the internet or cursing at schoolwork. I just want to make the best of my college life and graduate thinking, "College has been a very meaningful experience."
Okay, now I'm exhausted, and thus I will end my post here. I just needed to rant about what kind of person I had to aim to be. I originally meant to post pictures I took this week and just talk about what I did and such...but it just turned into this rant post...haha so I'll post pictures in another post.
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